Last night, an angel came to me in a dream. I watched it as it gently floated down from the sky towards me. As it got near me, it threw a bunch of pages at my face and went back to the light in the sky.
When I got up, the bunch of pages was still with me; and on it was the most exciting idea for a movie I had ever seen.
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The setting is an isolated mansion in the English countryside. There are three people living in the mansion. One is our protagonist, named Ali. One is our heroine, the maid. And the third is Ali’s Father, Junaid.
Ali and his father live like slobs. Clothes and food litter the floor of every room. They hire a maid to clean up after them. But the maid doesn’t do any work and mostly adds to the mess. Neither Ali nor Junaid apparently care about this.
Junaid is a spy a top ranking spy for the American government. Junaid is important enough that the president and the secretary of defense come to meet him in person. Every Monday, the president brings Junaid top secret government files in a 64 mb flash drive.
Ali is aware of these shady meetings and despises his father for it. Every time the president comes to visit, Ali steals his coat in the hopes of obtaining the top secret flash drive. Ali successfully steals the president’s coat every Monday, though the flash drive is never there.
Near the end of the movie, the house experiences a rodent infestation of epic proportions. It becomes impossible to take a step without squishing three mice in the process. The house becomes a sea of rats. The maid contemplates leaving.
Ali is very upset on hearing this. Cue emotional ending scene. He stops the maid while she is walking out of the kitchen door. Crying, he says to her: “You can’t leave, I love you”. Still in tears, he then takes out his wallet and starts counting 200 rupees in front of the maid. This is double her last pay. She takes this to be a sign of true love.
The maid also bursts into tears and hugs Ali, saying: “I would never leave you. This is the best job I’ve ever had”.
Just before the film ends, the camera zooms in on Ali’s eyes. As he looks at the kitchen floor bursting with mice, we hear Ali’s thought: “Do you think I could ever love you? I will make you kill mice”. Ali forgets that the maid never works.
The camera rotates 180 degrees and zooms in on the maids eyes. She smiles evilly: “Do you think I could ever love you? I just want your 200 rupees.”
The movie ends as it starts. With no point whatsoever.
P.S: I already have multi million dollar offers from Paramount and Buena Vista for the rights to this movie. But I told them that my intellect wasn’t for sale. Not anymore.