Pakistan currently ranks 6th in the world amongst the test nations out of a total of 9 nations. Our name doesn’t exactly leave others quaking in their boots. The team lost to Sri Lanka in a three test match series two nill, and the third test still has to be played.
You would think no defeat could be worse than collapsing for 119 all out with a target of only 169 runs. And that too after reaching 72 runs with a loss of 2 wickets. That’s right. We were 72 for 2 and then the entire team fell like dominoes.
Read more about the current Pakistani cricket situation, after the jump.
A Brotherly Love.. for Ducks
There’s a lot of brotherly love between the players. If one person fails, the others refuse to perform. “Oye tension na le. Main bhi aa raha hoon, tu bas chai tayaar rakh.” The Pakistan team puts the ass in Bad-Ass.
Surely they couldn’t recreate the same craptacular form in the second test. But Pakistan is the master of collapse.
Now the second test match at the P. Sara Oval in Colombo, they crashed to 90 all out after opting to bat first. Check out the terrific scorecard filled with 1 digit numbers.
After a commendable recovery in the second innings, the batting crumbled again as Pakistan lost their last nine wickets for 35 runs to be dismissed for 320. Sri Lanka got their cake. And they ate it in less than a day. So now Sri Lanka has won the series. I shudder to think what the last test holds for Pakistan.
The terrific form of the Pakistan team did not go unnoticed by the retired veterans. Inzamam was so upset, he didn’t even start with his catchphrase : “First of all, thanks to Allah, God”.
The situation in the team is not good,” Inzamam said. “I can smell factionalism within the team and Younis is not doing his best to keep
the team united, and that does not augur well for our cricket.”
We all know that Inzi Bhai did not say all this in english. Even I don’t know what the fuck augur means. Inzamam gave his speech in urdu, which was later translated (badly) into the above. You will notice that Inzamam forgot to mention that the boys play well.
“Younis doesn’t have leadership qualities,” Sarfraz Nawaz said. “If a captain is not able to handle his players’ batting failures and comes out with lame excuses of playing less Test cricket, he doesn’t have the qualities of a good captain.”
My theory is if any team wants their old/new and struggling players to become world renowned they should start playing against Pakistan more often. For example, who would have thought Rangana Herath, who bowls a slow arm orthodox bowling would take five wickets in the second test and 4 crucial wickets in the first test? Not me. But our team believed in his abilities. I mean seriously yaar bacho se to na out ho.
Another prime example is Nuwan Kulasekra. He got 8 wickets in the second test match. These people are like the hobos at a cocktail party. No one wants them there. These are the guys struggling to get back into the Sri Lankan team. We were glad to see Herath Sahab named as a substitute for Muralitharan before the match, but he’s laughing all the way to the winner’s podium.
Other examples of superstars Pakistan created include Dilshan, Yuvraj Singh, M.S Dhoni.
Someone please tell me why Pakistan collapsed three freaking times out of four innings? It boggles the mind. Is it voodoo dolls?
But It Doesn’t Matter!
But don’t forget, we are still the champions of the world. And who did we beat to get there? Sri Lanka. So let them have their (insert name here) cup. I guess we are still not out of the T20 cricket zone.